Because My Way is Clearly Not the Only Way!"

Well, I'm a day late and a dollar short. I know I was supposed to have the blog up yesterday, on Thursday. Sorry for the delay; yesterday was really tough for me. But hey, I'm here now, and that's what counts. I've been thinking about starting a series, maybe something like the Chronicles of Heather, or something catchy to share my life's stories and experiences. I want to be a bit vulnerable and really let you into my life.

I sit and think about it, and I'm not sure if it's trauma or what, but there are parts of my life I just can't remember. People talk about their childhood memories from when they were nine or ten, and I kind of feel jealous because they remember those things. I do remember being nine or ten, but they're not happy memories. I know my life hasn't been a total disaster. There must have been some joyful moments, but I just can't recall them. Maybe there were too many bad experiences, I don't know. I don't have family reunions or holiday memories to look back on and say, "Oh wow, I remember that time when I was 12." I just don't have those.

So, when I think about writing my life's story in different periods, I'm not sure what I'd write. I don't want it to be all sad or depressing or to seem like I'm playing the victim. But I do believe that those tough experiences shaped who I am today. I might not be the best version of myself, but I'm the version I worked hard to become. So, what should I write about? How much should I let people into my world and share my experiences?

I know some of you reading this might become part of that story, and it might not be something you'd like to read. I'd definitely have to change names and scenarios because I wouldn't want to expose others who went through the same things. It would be like a mix of fiction and reality, with names changed or left out, and told from my perspective. Maybe it's not exactly how things happened, but if I go ahead with the Chronicles of Heather or whatever I call it, just know it's from my point of view.

I'll be working on sharing my life online and figuring out how to start writing about what I actually remember, not just what others have told me. It might take some time to get going, and who knows, it might not even happen. But you'll definitely be the first to know—well, technically the second, since I'd know first. As soon as I have something, it'll be up here for you.

Hey, on a different note, how's everyone doing? How's work, life, kids, significant others, and all that good stuff? I've had a mentally exhausting week—honestly, every week feels like that. I had this group at work, more like acquaintances than friends, and something shifted in their little clique, making it seem like I was the problem. Maybe I did say something that rubbed them the wrong way, who knows? But instead of being mature and talking to me, they went all sabotage-mode. It affected my job, and it's like, come on, we're adults, not kids. I'm 41 and don't have time for these childish games. If you can't talk like an adult, then we shouldn't be talking at all, and I'm fine with that. But acting like immature kids shouldn't mess with work. I could go on about my workplace, the behavior, the lack of morals and discipline, but what's the point? I'd still end up looking like the bad guy. I'm a stickler for discipline and protocols, and there are none here. Just manipulation and backstabbing. It's hard to stomach the lack of morals and ethics. Those who know me know I'm not great at keeping quiet. I'm not disrespectful; I believe in a chain of command, but that's not how it is here. I feel like I was set up to fail, and being headstrong, I don't want to fail. I'll work my butt off to avoid that, but now I think some battles just aren't worth fighting. How do you know which ones are worth it? I guess I don't. I was taught to never give up or quit, but when do you say enough is enough? When do you stop giving everything to a job that gives nothing back? When do you say, "I tried my best"? Is that really quitting? Your mental, physical, and emotional health is crucial, and giving everything to something that just takes isn't quitting if you've done all you can. I'd say you've done a great job. I give myself that credit, even if no one else does. I don't need anyone's validation—just my own. If I feel like I've done my best, who can say otherwise?

I always say I don't need anyone else's approval, just my own, but honestly, that's not true. We all look for validation and acceptance, and sometimes we just don't get it. Sometimes, the people we want acceptance from aren't really the right ones for us. So, where do you find the people who truly get you and validate you? People always say you'll find your tribe, and when you do, you'll just know. So, I'm still on the hunt for mine. Every person I meet, if they don't turn out to be my tribe or yours, then they're just not our people. But they still teach us something. Everyone I've met in my personal and professional life has taught me something. Everyone has something to offer, but you have to be open to learning from them. Eventually, something you learned from someone will come in handy. I've had bosses who taught me a lot and friends who showed me new ways to do things—whether it's cooking, dealing with pets, or doing my job. Some people have literally saved my life in different ways. I sometimes wonder what I've taught others. Do people ever think, "Oh, Heather said this," or "Heather said that"? I wonder how many folks I've helped or taught something to, even if it's just a little thing. It's like we're all life coaches, and sometimes you don't realize you needed to learn something until later. But you hold onto it because you're open to learning, instead of pretending you know it all or have all the answers. There's so much in life you haven't experienced yet, but someone else has. Be ready to learn from them. You never know when it'll come in handy.

Seeing things from different angles can really help clear things up. Honestly, I'm a bit of a hothead. Maybe it's my Italian roots, who knows? Some see it as negativity, but I see it as passion. That's just how I am. I'm super passionate about everything I do and give it my all, though sometimes others don't see it the same way. I can be pretty harsh, but I honestly don't mean any harm. I'm not exactly soft or gentle—just ask my kids—but I pour my heart into everything. Sometimes it fires me up, and I might not always be calm, which can be hard for people to get. People don't always see things like I do, and I don't always see things like they do, but there's never just one side to a story. I've always said there are three sides: mine, yours, and the truth. We all see things differently. I try to see things from others' viewpoints, but it's not easy for me. I get that. Still, I'm super loyal and brutally honest. I try to explain things my way, but sometimes it gets misunderstood. I don't know how to change that, but I do know we all need to be more open-minded and consider other perspectives. Someone else's view isn't the same as yours or mine, so remember to be open instead of stuck in a one-track mindset.

So, like I've been saying, seeing things from a different angle and chatting about it is super important. If I were to tell the stories of my life, they'd be from my point of view, but how I see things isn't the same as how you do. Take something simple, like me sharing stories about when my brother and I were in foster care—my perspective could be totally different from his. He was younger, so he saw things differently than I did. But talking about how you see something and how I see something is crucial. Being open-minded and discussing things you don't understand or see differently can really clear up a lot of confusion. Even something as simple as how I see a sunset compared to a friend—if we both described it, it'd be completely different. But by chatting about those differences, it might open your mind to seeing things in a new way because you'd get to see it through someone else's eyes. Personally, I find it interesting to see someone else's viewpoint and experience things differently than just through my own eyes. As an outsider, you see things differently than someone who's actually going through that situation. I might see someone differently, and they'd see me differently, but we'd both learn something new. I know I would. I'd get to see how someone else saw a situation. But just because you explain your view doesn't make it right; you also have to be open to understanding how the other person sees things. They’re not the same and never will be. I definitely need to work on how I understand someone else's viewpoint, but that's a personal thing. Sometimes, even if someone explains their perspective, it might not make sense to you. Their take and their definition aren't the same, and sometimes, for me, it’s harder to get why someone views things that way. I'm sure that's true for everyone else, too. Not everyone is as messed up as I am mentally, but people should remember that just because you see it a certain way doesn't mean the other person will immediately get it or agree. Talking about it and communicating is the first step to opening up how people think differently, but you can’t expect them to change their mind just because you see it differently. Sometimes, I might say this is how it should be or could be, but I'm not always great at seeing it from someone else's perspective. I'm open to it—that's not the right word. I’m open to it, but I don’t always get why they see it that way. I don’t always understand why people do things the way they do, and I'm sure they don't get why I do things my way. But the more you see things from someone else's perspective, it really opens your mind to handling situations differently, seeing things differently, and processing things differently. But I don’t always get why they thought that way or why things should be that way. Our brains are pretty wild like that.

I've always been curious about how others see me, what they think of me—not just looks, but the whole package. Like, if someone says, "Heather is…" how would they finish that sentence? What words would they use? I'm sure there'd be some not-so-great ones in there. I get that I'm not everyone's favorite, but hey, not everyone is mine either. Sometimes I say I want to know their thoughts or views on me, but maybe there are things I'm better off not knowing. I'm the kind of person who needs to know the why behind things; the why or how can drive me nuts. But maybe this is one of those things I don't really need to know. What do you all think? Would you want to know how someone truly sees you? Like, brutally honest, down to the core: what they see and how they see it, how they describe you, everything about you. Would you want to know? I think I would, but I'm not sure if I really do. Some things might sting, but they could also be useful. I don't know. What do you all think?

Ever seen "What Women Want" where Mel Gibson can hear what women are thinking? That movie is hilarious! I wish I had that superpower to hear people’s thoughts. How awesome would that be? Or maybe a bit painful? Probably both. If you haven’t watched it, you’ve got to check it out to get what I’m saying. Seriously funny! I’d love to know what people are really thinking in the moment. That would be such a cool perspective. You could change yourself so easily. Yeah, I know it sounds kind of weird but also pretty fascinating. It’d be intriguing to know what’s going on in others’ heads. You could learn something new, and it doesn’t even have to be about you. Not everything is about you, right? But I think it could really help people. If everyone was a bit more honest and communicated better, it would make a big difference. Sure, a movie where someone can hear thoughts is a bit of a stretch. Okay, it’s definitely a stretch, but people could be more honest and open to the truth. So come on, hit me with your truth. As I dive into writing these life stories, be honest and open to seeing things from my perspective, just like I’m open to seeing things from yours. Remember, you don’t have to see things only one way or understand them like someone else does. So get ready for a trip down memory lane—at least the parts I can remember. It’s going to be a wild ride. I’ll share a lot, but some things are too personal to share with the world. I don’t even want to share them with myself, let alone everyone else.

Sorry I'm a day late, but I hope you all have an awesome weekend! Don't forget it's Super Bowl weekend—stay safe, have a blast, and make some great memories. Catch you next week!

XOXO,

Heather